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  • Top 5 Most Irritating RPG Protagonists

    Top 5 Most Irritating RPG Protagonists
    Only about half of them are named after meteorological phenomena.

    By Bob Mackey

    Say what you will about role-playing games, but for a genre that places a complete emphasis on story, it sure loves to saddle us with some of the most unlikable characters to ever exist in fiction -- and often, for upward of 50 hours at a time. Thankfully, loot, monster collecting, and grinding all serve as welcome distractions from the whining of spiky-haired heroes -- but there's always a breaking point where you wanna reach inside the screen and snap their spunky little teenage necks. The following collection of RPG champs may need to kill endless crawling piles of goop to prepare for that final boss encounter against some multitiered incarnation of god, but even at level 1, they have the ability to defeat our collective will to live.

    5. Tidus (Final Fantasy X)
    System: PS2 | Release Date: 2001 | Publisher: Square Enix

    OK, let's get some things outta the way first: Tidus looks like the worst of Japanese pop culture vomited fabric all over him in disproportionate quantities. But that's not the most offensive part of this lederhosen-wearing rogue: While his fashion sense could largely be ignored through the power of squinting, his emotional baggage was unavoidable -- and seemingly the unholy love child of Dawson's Creek and My So-Called Life. Essentially, Final Fantasy X is Daddy Issues: The Game. And it's not like Tidus has any remarkable qualities outside of his angst; anyone who thinks that fake laughter is the first step to emotional recovery needs a few classes on how to be a functional human being.

    4. Emil (Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World)
    System: Wii | Release Date: 2008 | Publisher: Namco Bandai

    Dawn of the New World only just released in mid-November, but its male protagonist -- who literally wears a strapless evening gown -- has already destroyed powerful field equipment designed to detect whining idiots. We're not sure exactly what developer Tales Studio was thinking when they created Emil, but you get the sense they were aiming for a nonthreatening version of Neon Genesis Evangelion's own simpering boob, Shinji Ikari. If you're wondering just how much of a wuss Emil is, be aware that Dawn of the New World's first mission involves gathering up the courage to thank someone. We can only assume that one of the game's final challenges involves some sort of adventure in public speaking.

    3. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
    System: PS2 | Release Date: 2002 | Publisher: Square Enix

    If you look at Sora's outfit, it's clear that he's basically a human version of Mickey Mouse -- and, coincidentally, just as entertaining. To be fair, he's kinda out of his league; how, exactly, is focus-group-approved 21st-century tripe supposed to compete with the antics of beloved, decades-old Disney characters? Still, for such a major part of Square's kazillion-dollar franchise, Sora's pretty invisible -- if they replaced him with Fat Cat from Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers, we doubt anyone'd really notice by the time Kingdom Hearts III rolls around. But what's more offensive than Sora's general blandness is the fact that his emerging hormones caused the entirety of the original Kingdom Hearts to revolve around the sexual tension between three characters barely out of their tweens. Just a little unsettling if you happen to be of voting age.

    2. Squall (Final Fantasy VIII)
    System: Playstation, PC | Release Date: 1999 | Publisher: Square EA

    Square really knows their audience; why else would they make the star of the long-awaited sequel to Final Fantasy VII a surly loner? (Note: In the late '90s, grumpy lonerism in teenagers was nearly as popular as the aloof irony of today.) But in an attempt to cater to the fedora-wearing, trench-coat clad folks out there, they managed to alienate anyone with social skills by giving us a character with a complete lack of them. We could only look on in horror as he was forced against his will to dance with an attractive woman who clearly had the hots for him -- and their Titanic-inspired space date toward the end of the game was even more excruciating. It's really too bad that none of the in-game shops carried Paxil.

    1. Any Silent Protagonist

    The most annoying thing about the mute RPG star is that there are just so many of them; and at this point in videogame-narrative history, it's beginning to feel a little cheap. With this approach, all a developer has to do is create an acceptable avatar, hang a lantern on the fact that he won't be flapping his gums, and forget about complicated things like personality and character development. And most of the time, it feels a little wrong; countless RPG babes have fallen head over heels for the strong-but-completely-silent type, which doesn't really pan out in the real world. In the end, we may just feel a little sorry for these characters cursed with the inability to speak; recent playthroughs of Chrono Trigger only serve to remind us of a certain main character who doesn't even have the power to protest his own wrongful death sentence.



  • First Details on Ubisoft's I Am Alive Unearthed

    I Am Alive 'E3 2008' trailer
    Back when we first got word of I Am Alive, a new disaster game from Ubisoft, the popular gossip was that the title would feature Jade Raymond (of Assassin's Creed fame) as producer. Since then, Ubisoft hasn't provided much info aside from the debut trailer above, but we've finally got new details courtesy of the cover story from the latest issue of GamesTM. And as it turns out, Raymond isn't as involved with the title as the rumor mill led us to believe.

    In the article, developer Darkworks (best known for last gen's so-so survival horror game Cold Fear) reveals that Jade Raymond isn't working on I Am Alive at all, and the team actually has no idea how that rumor got started. In Raymond's rumored place stands senior producer Alexis Goddard, who seems most enthusiastic about how the project draws on other sources: "Disaster has been a recurring theme for entertainment since the beginning of time. We're not really reinventing that here. We're putting it together for the first time in a totally new package. Most of what we're doing will remind you of tidbits that you've seen or heard here and there -- Robert Neville in I Am Legend gradually starts to lose his humanity and sanity in the ruins of New York. In The Day After Tomorrow and War of the Worlds you see Western cities torn apart by unrelenting forces." Later in the article, Goddard also brings up comparisons to Armageddon, Titanic, Cloverfield, Jericho, and Lost. But with such a wide variety of influences from other mediums, what is the actual gameplay like? Goddard describes it as being built "around the concept of social chaos." After a mysterious earthquake destroys Chicago, main character Adam Collins must find his girlfriend and seek out enough survivors to get the attention of a mysteriously quiet government task force.

    Goddard believes that the actual moment-to-moment gameplay will be unlike anything we're used to, though, noting, "In I Am Alive, we're not only turning your everyday life upside down; we're also changing the very social values and rules that both everyday life and videogames rely on." Items, especially weapons and ammo, will be much scarcer than gamers are used to, even more so than in traditional survival horror titles such as Resident Evil. The real focus of the game will be obtaining items necessary to survival, such as the water bottle in the trailer. Water can be used for healing or (again, as seen in the trailer) distracting potential opponents to clear a safe path for Adam. And although guns will be rare, they do exist in the game: "Confrontation is a way of dealing with violent groups, but will rarely be rewarded. We encourage the players to use tactics, diversion, and discretion. You've found a police shotgun, which is out of bullets -- rightfully so, since Chicago has long been a proponent of a ban on guns. How about some intimidation? After all, who knows the gun is empty but you? Just point it at looters and they'll remain at a distance as you progress toward your objective. However, you can only aim it at one person, so you have to watch for being flanked." And if a first-person game -- in a genre that isn't traditionally first-person -- using weapons scarcely and in an abnormal way sounds a lot like Mirror's Edge to you, the comparison surely isn't lost on Ubisoft. Goddard defended the choice to go with first-person in the article: "We wanted the player to really feel the power of Mother Nature, to feel the danger coming from the collapsing towers and devastating rifts, feel the chaos happening all around him. There's nothing like a first-person view to create that kind of emotion." The excellent GamesTM story provides a lot more information than we previously had on this project, as well lots of pretty artwork, although it's too early to tell if any of it is in-game yet. Now that the first info has trickled out, hopefully Ubisoft will open the floodgates and start giving us a better idea of what we can expect from the wrecked city and desperate society in I Am Alive.

  • Hasbro Developing Several Board Games, XBLA Channel

    Hasbro announced today that it is working with Electronic Arts to develop several new board games for various platforms, along with a branded Hasbro game channel for Xbox Live Arcade. The popular board game Scrabble will come first, due out for the DS and PSP this March. The handheld games will include three modes (Classic, Speed, and Scrabble Slam), six difficulty settings, and a Training mode for less experienced wordsmiths. Hasbro and EA have already suggested the price will probably stand at $29.99.

    Xbox Live Arcade is getting its own line-up of board games from the company, including Scrabble, Boggle, Battleship, Yahtzee, Connect Four, Sorry!, and Sorry! Sliders coming in spring. In addition, Xbox Live Arcade will be receiving its own "Hasbro Family Game Night channel" to bring the collection together in one place, with new games updated in the space.

    The full line-up will be shown off this weekend at the Consumer Electronics Show. Since Electronic Arts acquired the Hasbro license last year, they've been capitalizing on popular classic board games. It's apparently paid off, since we've seen big sales numbers for the casual titles. It makes sense to keep pressing the advantage of nostalgic fun, and the focus on Xbox Live Arcade may help Microsoft finally catch some more casual consumers.

  • Japanese Limited Edition Yakuza 3, Star Ocean: The Last Hope Consoles Revealed


    Continuing the recent Japanese trend of releasing a special edition console for every single game of note, Sony and Microsoft have today announced limited bundles for upcoming third party titles Yakuza 3 and Star Ocean: The Last Hope.

    Yakuza 3's, dropping on February 26, sports a slick silver rendition of protagonist Kazuma Kiryu's dragon tattoo printed on a Ceramic White console, and will retail for ?45980 ($487) -- a ?1980 savings over buying the game and console separately.

    Fans of Star Ocean will have to make do with nothing more than a faceplate and limited edition music CD upon The Last Hope's February 19 release, but will receive a respectable discount in return -- their Xbox 360 Arcade bundle will cost a scant ?24800 ($263), ?3900 below buying separately.

  • ReSolve Willing To Split Free Radical's Assets


    Times have been tough for Free Radical, with their finances in dire straits and thus far no takers in a potential sale. Administrator ReSolve Partners remains hopeful though, and are willing to take additional steps.

    ReSolve's Cameron Gunn told gamesindustry.biz that at this stage "interest is strong," but if they have to, they are willing to split up Free Radical's assets and sell them separately. Free Radical's IPs include TimeSplitters and Haze.

    Gunn explained, "Over the course of the next ten days we should get a clear idea of the level of interest, what companies are interested in. And we're very hopeful at this stage that we will sell the business and assets as a going concern in one lump sum."

Video Game News

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  • Sins of a Solar Empire: Entrenchment - Preview

    Sins of a Solar Empire was one of the best strategy games on the market last year.  It took the strategy and civilization building of Galatic Civilizations and put it into a powerful RTS game.  If you liked the original,…

  • Star Ocean: First Departure Preview

    This new PSP title should be a nice boost for starved fans of action RPGs.  This new addition to the Star Ocean line should be a pleasant addition to the PSP’s lineup.  There isn’t anything too groundbreaking.  The combat is…

  • Wario Land: Shake It Preview

    This looks like a fun little title from Nintendo.  Wario is back for some old side scrolling adventures and they are all centered around the Wii’s shake ability.  You basically do just about everything in the game by shaking or…

  • Fable 2 Update

    Alright.  It looks like Molyneux is actually staying realistic with the game in not promising the world with this game as it approaches its release.  He recently did a demonstration of the game at London and it looks fairly solid. …

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